I’ve been spending some time reflecting on a big mistake I made a few times early in my career, and that I see a lot of people make in regards to managing up: wanting my manger to be the person I thought they should be, rather than the person they are, and allowing that frustration to prevent me from building a meaningful relationship with them. It has me thinking about this quote from Shane Parrish’s book Clear Thinking:
"One of the biggest mistakes that I see people make is they don't want to learn from someone who has a character blemish or a worldview that doesn't align with theirs. Seneca captured the right approach when he said in On the Tranquility of the Mind, "I shall never be ashamed of citing a bad author if the line is good."
There is a lot of arrogance in thinking that your approach is best, and that everyone should follow it. In my case, it also betrayed a lack of understanding of what it takes to succeed as a founder or manager of a very large team. Over the last many years I’ve learned that it’s a skill to be able to build a relationship with, and learn from, anyone, and I continue to work on that skill today.